He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize