it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
