New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
