I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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