STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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