So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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