I'd wear matching sweaters with you
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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