the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
