haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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