My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
i think my cat just said my name.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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