I'm pants shitting drunk right now
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
