Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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