At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
