I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
