Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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