if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize