Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
