Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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