your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize