I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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