Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My dick has a subreddit
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
