Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
