He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
where are my eyebrows?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
