Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
