in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
