think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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