dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
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Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
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Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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