i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize