I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
