Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
