does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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