he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
