escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
