oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
