he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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