I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
