I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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