you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
