Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
