his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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