Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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