Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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