you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
