I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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