I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
