i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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