Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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