shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
