Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
