smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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