Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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