Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
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Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
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We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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