Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize