a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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