You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
