i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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