you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
