idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
