it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize