ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
